Dreams, Wishes, Future...

       I love to dream. I love exploring my self-conscious and gaining insight into the mysteries I wasn't even aware were pulling on my conscious. Dreams are my mind's way of processing the world around me and even when they don't make sense, I embrace them...

        My dreams can be the beginning of a story I had no idea needed writing or could be just the thing I needed to get that scene just right. They spark that part of me that believes magic is real, aliens exist, and an open mind is the only way in which to live.

         Sometimes my only faith can be found in God and in dreams...

Take for instance Saturday (January 27, 2018, can you believe we are in 2018?) I was in bed completely exhausted. I'd been cooking for the week ahead, researching for my latest project, and writing all day... Not usually the combination for dream territory, but I gave in and shut down everything, and gave into the feeling. I fell alseep thinking about "Jenna".

She was the wallflower used to living her life in the shadows. She was used to life passing her by. Used to not trying, because it was easier than failing.

        She was the child of two people who never would have had her if they had not taken the risk to be together. Her parents had been Adventurers and she was caution incarnate. She was ready for more. Ready to jump off the cliff and find out whether she could fly. She was a story ready to be written and I wanted to be the person to write her.

        I wanted to be the person who got to know her and to be there when she found her purpose in the world. In my dreams, she's an outline. The promise of a story sure to get my synapsis firing,

        It was the same when I wrote Dessani Queen, Wintr's Homecoming, Witch's Reflection, or She Gets What She Wants. I just knew she was something worth exploring.

Dreams, stories, and books can be heartbreaking. They can be unfulfilled wishes. They can be the future yet to come. But boy-oh-boy can they be fun to read.

        "Jenna" is and was a story I knew I would create. She is the kinder Jinx. The more timid Makayla. At the beginning of her growing awareness feminity and her own strength as a woman, she is learning just how exciting life could be when making the "right" choice wasn't always the way to get to her objective. She was a heroine and I couldn't wait to see how her story shaped out.

        How crazy is it, that I can dream something and feel so certain that it was meant to be shared? That by placing pen to paper I am sharing a part of myself to the outside world. Quite literally, because if you have read about my writing style before you knew I write on pen and paper as well as typing. I like the tactile sensation of working through writer's block by putting orders down with ink and seeing how I still feel about that scene when I am actually typing up.

        As a child, writing was my release. It was how I dealt with my feeling and how I organized my thoughts. Now it is as paramount as breathing. It is how I create content girls and women like me wished they had when it seemed like the world was crashing in and they wanted to read about someone who knew about their experiences... Who shared features with them and knew that coconut oil was life. I write and for the most part, it is for me. It feeds that creative part of me, but it is also for my sisters, friends, aunts, and for the women who read the books traditionally offered by mainstream media and feel unfulfilled because they aren't pale skinned. They aren't natural blondes with beautiful blue eyes.

        Their hair is kinky. Their eyes are, for the most part, varying shades of brown. Their universe doesn't necessarily start or end with the ghetto and gansta life. They want to believe in the supernatural for a few hours during the day and to read about a heroine that looks like them finding love with a hero. They want that ever elusive happily ever after.

        You know the one... With the guy on horseback, preferably with no shirt, a pearly white smile, and bulging arm muscles. 

        I want the people who read my books to dream. About their wishes. About their future... I want them to read those books and know their futures are unbelievably bright. Happily ever after isn't just for our paler friends. It is for us. Our Princes aren't just disowned royals without a dime to their name and aspirations of being a musician.

Contact Info:

Website:

www.DurandPublishing.net

Facebook:

Durand Publishing

Wintr's Homecoming

Jaguar Nights

Instagram:

Jensawanderingthoughts

New year, New Lies We Tell Ourselves...

    I don't make new years resolutions. Usually because that would require thinking about my life beyond the next week and that most often leads to a spiral. I find it is best for my mental stability to only take things a week at a time. This year has just begun and I have already had a few verbal arguments (I'm trying guys), done some charitable giving (Supporting a college aged sister counts right?), and wished I lived on a remote island only accessible by amazon planes so I can use my "prime" shipping.

    My life, like most others, is full of ups and downs. Twist and turns... Loops and nosedives. Last year was another year of growing I needed and offered a lot of hurdles. But I am still standing. My legs are still moving and occasionally I feel like running.

    This year I want give myself a chance to make some real changes. This year I want to make a few resolutions. Don't get too excited, this may turn into a pack of lies (hence the title).

    This year I want to do for the year of 2018:

        1. Kiss a man without knowing his first name (Overcoming some very serious germaphobia)

        2. Write at least four books (While maintain some semblance of a life and working full time)

        3. Go somewhere with a lot of sand and sun (Can't waste a winter of getting beach body ready right? Ha, yeah right.)

      4. Go on a date with a man I did not immediately regret getting dressed up for (Dude, why are you not even worth the effort I put into blending into my              concealer?)

        5. Stand up in a room full of people and shine. (Can't just save the smartassery for my house and close friends)

        6. Walk away from unnecessary drama, even when I know I am right, because it is not worth the years subtracted from my life (It is just sooo hard!!!)

    Right! So there it is. My list of resolutions/possible lies. It is, a few weeks late I know, but at least it is here and in the right month.

    I know it has been a while since I have posted. Life got crazy... Books needed writing... Bills needed to be paid. Haha. But I want to reassure you all of those things will happen again this year and I will manage to get a post up at least one a month. Writing as good a balm as any for a antisocial introvert like me. I get to share my thoughts without having to have a prolonged conversation where I am constantly reviewing what I said to make sure I don't offend delicate sensibilities (have I mentioned I can be a bit of a smartass?).

    I want this space to be a safe place, a reprieve from the crazy that is the outside world. I want those who read my work to laugh, cry, and walk away from the scenes that pushed all of their buttons until they have found their happy median again.

    This year will be the year of faith and adventure. Do you want to be a part of it?

Contact Info:

Website:

www.DurandPublishing.net

Facebook:

Durand Publishing

Wintr's Homecoming

Jaguar Nights

Instagram:

Jensawanderingthoughts

Ride Or Die Loyalty?

       What is it and why does it sometimes seem like it is applied differently between the genders. I happen to be the type of girl who just likes to hang out with people. To talk and listen to the opinions and the beliefs of others. Especially men. It is interesting to hear the differences in the way we think and how certain words seem to take on a different meaning among the sexes. The most glaring example is loyalty. Especially in its application to monogamy.

       The other day I was sitting in the library of my school with a few friends and we were having a candid conversation about cheating. The men were up in arms talking about how women who cheat are not for them. They insisted that when men cheat and women cheat it is on two different levels. Because our vagina’s are directly tied to our hearts. The fact that we take a man into our beds mean more then just a good lay. Men consistently insist that their penises and their hearts are not even on the same hemisphere most days. They offer up the justification/excuse that while they can stick themselves into whatever opening available, they only hand their heart out to their “main”.

       Main. Main? Your main woman. The one who cooks for you. Dresses like your personal model, holds your hand, listens to your dreams, and encourages you to set and achieve your goals. She holds you down. She is also expected to be loyal to your relationship. Which to some men means that infidelity should not be a deal breaker. It’s a violation to your shared relationship and their “Ride or Die” status is revoked.

       But what about the reverse? Why doesn’t a man’s status as their woman’s “Ride or Die” get buried? Women enjoy sex as much as men. They just tend to be more discriminating with whom they let into that space. Why? Because that is how we are socialized to be. Times are changing and women are starting to become independent. Becoming the wife is not the brass ring any more. 

       But the expectation of monogamy is not and should not be difficult. It is my perspective that loyalty is a two way street. Your heart should be with me, but your brain should have enough control over your body to keep the rest of you in check. Otherwise find someone willing to be that type of woman for you. Someone willing to stand by your side with a bright smile, while you sleep with anything and everything that moves. Open relationships work for some people.

       I am one of five. I have had to share a lot in my life. I do not mind it usually. But once we get to the point where we are public and I am inviting you to meet my people I need to be the only person laying claim on those bits of you. Loyalty begets loyalty. Otherwise, bye.

Jen A. Durand

Author of The Secrets, Lies, and Betrayal Series and The Virgins Club, www.Durandpublishing.net

Completed Works

Secrets, Lies, and Betrayal Series:

Wintr’s Homecoming: Secrets 

Jaguar Nights: Lies 

Pearl Moon: Betrayal 

Shadowy Lights: Fear

Cold Sun: Obsession

The Virgins Club:

The Planner 

The Fixer 

Lipstick Diaries:

She Meets Bold

Wicked Meets Bad Boy
Confident Meets Cold

The Prince’s Heart 

Things Left Unsaid

Stuck Between Two Millionaires

Lasting Kind Of Love

Twins For Christmas

Closing The Deal

Lilia Carriere – The Planner

           Lilia is looking for a way off of the spinster list. She is tired of the pity glances from her family members. And her mother’s matchmaking fails. She is determined to make the upcoming year, the year of her being able to attend a family function without dreading the ever-present question, “Are you dating someone yet?” When her friend Pricilla offered to set her up, she jumped on the chance to end her dry streak.

           Lilia is your typical type A over achiever with a drive to always be on the top of her game. The reader gets insight into her life, her thought process, and her fears. Her exterior is this hard, ball busting, independent woman. Her love life has been lacking for a while and Cain is this unexpected thing that fell into her lap. They build a relationship around trying to help each other out of their respective troubles. He is not the guy she goes for and she is not the type of woman he would entertain entering into a relationship.

           To start with she is a Virgin. Something Cain had no encountered since high school and she seemed pretty determined to stay that way until marriage. Lilia has her reasons for abstinence. She wanted to share something real with her significant other without becoming a part of a bunch of guys sex rolodex. Remember rolodexes?

Anyway here is an excerpt from Chapter 5 of the Planner:

       “Lilia could hear the relief in her mother’s voice, “Wonderful Lilia. I have been so worried. I told your father you work too much. You spend to much time in the office and not enough time caring for yourself.”

         “Mom,” Lilia said warningly as she looked down at her fingernails.

         Prissy had called Salem. He had made some excuse about a sick dog. Lilia did not care truthfully. Who does not even text their date? It was rude.

        “I know you have goals but the last thing you want is to become sad lonely Auntie Lilia with no children and lipstick on her teeth like your father’s older sister Rosa.”

        Lilia grimaced as she reflexively ran her tongue over her teeth. She was far from the age of spinsterhood. While Lilia was concerned about not reaching her personal goals she had a lot going for her. She was attractive. On the short side but had curves and slightly wicked since of humor men could appreciate.

          “Then I guess it is a good thing this dinner went well.”

          Lilia’s mother gasped suddenly. “Why don’t you bring him home.”

          Lilia’s eyes widened, “I’m sorry what?”

          “Bring him home.”

          “Mom.”

          “Let me and your father have a look at him. We tell you if he is a waste of time.”

          “We have not even gone on a second date.”

          “You said the two of you would meet today. That is your second date. Bring him home for the third date.”

          “That is not a real third date. But that is someone’s real nightmare.”

          “Lilia.”

          “I cannot throw the man into the psychiatric ward that is our family so soon after meeting him. Especially not at Christmas time.”

          “Lilia.”

                “Mom., I really think this is a bad idea.”

          “Bring him home Lilia,” her mother stated with a hard edge before hanging up the phone.

          “Mom.”

                “Mom.”

                “Mom!”

                “Mom!”

                “Mom. Don’t do this to me. Mom,” Lilia exclaimed before letting the phone drop.”

*End of Excerpt*

Jen A. Durand

Author of The Secrets, Lies, and Betrayal Series and The Virgins Club, www.Durandpublishing.net

Completed Works

Secrets, Lies, and Betrayal Series:

Wintr’s Homecoming: Secrets 

Jaguar Nights: Lies 

Pearl Moon: Betrayal 

Shadowy Lights: Fear

Cold Sun: Obsession

The Virgins Club:

The Planner 

The Fixer 

Lipstick Diaries:

She Meets Bold

Wicked Meets Bad Boy
Confident Meets Cold

The Prince’s Heart 

Things Left Unsaid

Stuck Between Two Millionaires

Lasting Kind Of Love

Twins For Christmas

Closing The Deal

I Was That Friend...

I was that friend, 

with the coke bottle glasses.

The tightly gripped notebook.

And the fear of attention.

I was that friend,

constantly telling you to get down from there.

To walk with care.

To do your homework.

I was that friend,

you would call when you were finally ready to listen to reason.

Or you would tease because she was writing or reading.

I was that friend,

who cried when you did.

Who laughed when you did.

Who fought with you like only siblings would.

I am the friend,

constantly checking on your welfare.

Encouraging you to reach for your dreams.

Encouraging you to laugh because you will live longer.

And who talks too much on occasion.

I am that friend,

because you are my friend.

Completed Works

Secrets, Lies, and Betrayal Series:

Wintr’s Homecoming: Secrets

Jaguar Nights: Lies

Pearl Moon: Betrayal

Shadowy Lights: Fear

Cold Sun: Obsession

The Virgins Club:

The Planner

The Fixer

Lipstick Diaries:

She Meets Bold

Wicked Meets Bad Boy

The Prince’s Heart

Things Left Unsaid

Stuck Between Two Millionaires

Lasting Kind Of Love

Closing The Deal

Pride V.S. Fear

Sometimes I find myself in the field behind my house. Laying among the clovers and blades of fresh cut grass. My thoughts revolve around my life. The things I have done and the things I want to do. There are two overriding emotions at war within me.

Pride in all that I have done and the accomplishments I have made. Fear of failure and stumbling on the boulders of life.

The pale blue sky calm me. Chirping birds, and barking dogs are like music. The pride is fed by the successful completion of a task or challenge. The fear is fed by the expectations of my family, my own need to meet their expectation, and my wish to leave a mark on this world.

I have been going through this cycle of interviews, sending out job applications, working, writing, editing, blogging, babysitting, and constantly evaluating the path I have opted to take.

Risk is this memorizing thing. It draws me in like a moth to a flame. As a child I was withdrawn. I liked being in my own head and reading about philosophy, history, emotions, and mythology.

I loved to think about what adulthood would look and feel like. How I would work, pay my bills, date, and live the single life before settling into a successful marriage.

When you are a kid you do not think about the seconds, minutes, days, weeks, months, and years of struggle and failure. You don't think about the stress of taking a risk. Putting yourself out there and failing.

Now I have left the welcome bosom of school to enter the world of reality and I miss school. Not necessarily the the debt or the hair pulling exams. I miss learning. Working with people not concerned with money, but about the way they could impact the world. Fiction is often better then reality. (Hmm, Right?!). 

Reality this week was beautiful, frustrating, scary, depressing, and barely like anything I planned or envisioned for my future. Next week will be the same. And the week after that. And the week after that week. And for the rest of my life the plans I make are little more then a cold comfort.

But I will keep dreaming, writing, and planning. I will keep trying, failing, succeeding. I will do it because giving up is easy and as I stated before. Meeting the challenges I set for myself and successfully passing my goals feeds my pride. It needs to be stronger then my fear.

Best Wishes,

Jen A. Durand, Founder of Durand Publishing

P.S I have decided to giveaway free copies of one of my titles available on Kindle, Kobo, and Nook. 

In order for a reader to qualify. The reader must join my mailing list on my website www.DurandPublishing.net and leave a review on either Barnes & Noble, Kobo, or Amazon. Remember Reviewing is Caring. 😘 

Completed Works:

The Secrets, Lies, and Betrayal Series:

Wintr’s Homecoming: Secrets

Jaguar Nights: Lies

Pearl Moon: Betrayal

Shadowy Lights: Fear

Cold Sun: Obsession

The Virgins Club:

The Planner

The Fixer

Lipstick Diaries

Shy Meets Bold

Wicked Meets Bad Boy

The Prince’s Heart

Things Left Unsaid

Closing The Deal

The Young and The Powerful

Witch’s Reflection