Monday, October 10, 2016

High Heels?



The other day I was headed off to a job interview. I was on my professional grind. Wearing a wig to cover my natural curls and a red A-line dress. This happen to be the second interview for this particular company, I was confident in my outfit choice. Then my baby sister stopped me and pointed to my black flats.

"Where are your heels?"

I live in New York and the interview was in a part of the city where parking is an olympic sport. Riding the train would have taken me a full twenty minutes longer just based off of where I lived. I knew that by driving I would have a walk ahead of me. So I opted for sensible shoes not "lady shoes".

Because I was in a hurry I did not respond, but her question bothered me. It was passively saying that as a woman looking for a job. Opting for flats was somehow less professional then showing up with heels.

I love a good heel. They look nice and give me a warm feminine feeling when I am wearing them. But they are uncomfortable!!! Prolonged exposure causes aches and my boobs do a good enough job of that on their own...

When did heels become the uniform of choice for professional women. As if wearing them suddenly raises my IQ and makes me more hireable.

Why? 

Am I proving actual suffering for the job by wearing them? Does it solidify my commitment to working in some way by walking the four blocks it took me to get there in heels, that have by now, rubbed my toes raw? Though I am sure my sister did not mean to imply such things in her innocent enough question. I found myself thinking about all of the things I do when I go on an interview.

I wear the expensive dress, nice blazer, and the makeup I usually only pull on for special occasions. I braid down the kinks and where the wig with the highlighted ringlets. Those things add to my natural beauty, but also hide the things "the powers that be" have deemed unkempt and unprofessional.

Even during my own graduation from graduate school, I found myself surrounded by aunts all voicing their opinion about whether wearing my afro beneath that cap was appropriate. I was treated to multiple explanations as to why that would not fly. How professional african american woman did not wear their natural curls, but wear locks of long straight hair with professionally styled curls.

These women who taught me how to dress, comb my hair, braid, and express my inner diva. Were telling me that showing my roots was some how detracting from what I had accomplished. My afro became this unworthy thing and the only remedy was to hide it away behind weaves.

Why? Why do I have to assimilate to be proven worthy when I have done the most important part in getting my qualifications? Why can I not wear the clothes most comfortable to me when I have spent the last twenty years of my life receiving the education necessary to make me competent to do the job? 

What about those heels give you confidence in my ability?

Completed Works:

The Secrets, Lies, and Betrayal Series:

The Virgins Club:

Lipstick Diaries




The Young and The Powerful

Thursday, October 6, 2016

Witch's Reflections: Excerpt Chapter 4

Witch's Reflection

Chapter Four





 ‘Deep even breaths, Selah.’
‘Deep and even breaths.’
The inside of her eyelids were a bright pink as daylight streamed through the windows of her studio washing it in light.
Her legs, exposed by her stone washed jean shorts, pressed against the cold-waxed wooden floors. Making her skin prickle with goosebumps. Selah took another deep breath as she tried to ignore the distractions and focus.
Her thoughts began to fade with each breath. Her magic sparked and she felt an internal warmth spread through the cells of her body. Selah head fell back as her surroundings faded away.
The sound of her music no longer pumped through her ears. The feel of the ground beneath her legs disappeared. She was standing now. Her jeans were replaced by what felt like a stiff type of leather.
Her eyes drifted open. Her nose wrinkled as she looked around the room. Selah was in a small hut surrounded by dirt and the scent of burning flesh. Poverty surrounded her.
Sand and dust covered every surface. Selah felt as if she was being suffocated by it. She looked down at the grime on her skin in disgust. She hated being dirty. It has always a pet peeve of hers.
“Jarita.”
Selah rubbed a spot of dirt on her arm and looked around the tiny room. It was so bare. Devoid of any personal touch.
 Her scalp burned and itched. Her hair hung in limp oily curls around her face. Everything was covered in dirt. It was everywhere and coated her skin.
“Jarita.”
“Jarita!”
Selah jumped at the name as she twisted around towards the voice. Reflections were like an echo of the past. Witches watched their former lives looking for lessons and truth. She could not move or talk.
Her thoughts were not completely her own. It was like watching a film, she could not fast-forward through. Selah was only an observer.
Facts echoed through her mind. A woman dressed in a bark brown dress stood in the doorway. Her face was painted with archaic symbols no one in their coven had used since the late 1800s.
Thema. The leader of their coven, and Jarita’s matron. She stood at the door. Tears streamed down the older woman’s face. Her dark brown skin glistened with sweat and her eyes were rimmed with red.
“Bring  Ebunoluwa water.”
Jarita nodded carefully.
“Hurry.”
Thema turned and walked out of the room. She’d issued her orders and did not need to see it carried out. Jariata picked up a jug as her resentment bubbled beneath the surface.
She was a servant in the eyes of the tribe. A slave because of her orphan status. They treated her like a burden. Only worth carrying out their orders.
‘It is all Ebunoluwa’s fault,’ whispered a familiar angry voice in the back of her mind.
The voice had been murmuring in the back of her mind for months. Opening her eyes and showing her the injustice of her position. Who she should blame?
Jarita walked out of her hut and started down the path to the watering hole. The sounds of drums could be heard through out the village.
It had been a constant since Ebunoluwa had fallen sick. All prayed for their future leader’s heath and recovery. All except Jariata.
Jariata prayed for Ebunoluwa’s death. The hot sun made the sand burn beneath her feet. Jariata lifted her face to take in the sunlight.
‘Her death will happen soon. Just one more dose.’
Jariata said nothing as she continued to walk. Ebunoluwa was loved by most of the village. Her supposed sweet nature and easy smile misled everyone.
She saw past the thin veneer of kindness to the disaster beneath the surface. Ebunoluwa would destroy the Yemoja clan if she lived to lead.
‘Two drops. Two drops in her water, and she will not make it beyond the night. I promise.’
Jariata arrived at the watering hole and dipped the jug into it. The water bubbled as the jug filled. Once full she hefted it over her head and started down the path back to the village.
What she was doing was wrong.
Jariata knew Ebunoluwa loss was the greater good. It was what was best for the good of the clan. She looked innocent but Jariata could see what others in the clan missed. Ebunoluwa was a poison. A blight on all that they were.
Selah started to panic as she heard the dark thoughts filtering through her mind. This was her past life? She used to be some schizophrenic murderer?
‘Two drops in her water and you will save them all.’
A light giggled filled her mind as she entered the village and turned towards the home of Thema. Of course he was happy. This is what he wanted. What he had been pushing her towards.
She pushed the cloth covering the door to the side and walked into the main room. Men and women sat through out the room praying. Jariata walked past them all to the last room in the corner. A beaded cloth covered the door.
Jariata entered Ebunoluwa’s sick room. To find Thema bent over the sick girl as she chanted. Selah watched in horror as Jariata brought the jug to the small table beside.
She wanted to do something to stop her. To change the past. She wanted to drop the jug but instead her hands tipped the jug over and filled the cup partly.
Looking around carefully she reached into her pocket and pulled out a small glass vial filled with clear liquid.
Jariata looked over her shoulder and opened the vial with her thumb. She watched Thema as she tipped the liquid into the cup.

‘Two drops. Two more drops and the threat would be gone.’

Available on Amazon and Barnes & Noble. It is also available on Kindle Unlimited. Please Check it out and and if you like it. Leave a review!!! Remember reviewing is caring. 😘 

Wednesday, October 5, 2016

Pride V.S. Fear

Sometimes I find myself in the field behind my house. Laying among the clovers and blades of fresh cut grass. My thoughts revolve around my life. The things I have done and the things I want to do. There are two overriding emotions at war within me.

Pride in all that I have done and the accomplishments I have made. Fear of failure and stumbling on the boulders of life.

The pale blue sky calm me. Chirping birds, and barking dogs are like music. The pride is fed by the successful completion of a task or challenge. The fear is fed by the expectations of my family, my own need to meet their expectation, and my wish to leave a mark on this world.

I have been going through this cycle of interviews, sending out job applications, working, writing, editing, blogging, babysitting, and constantly evaluating the path I have opted to take.

Risk is this memorizing thing. It draws me in like a moth to a flame. As a child I was withdrawn. I liked being in my own head and reading about philosophy, history, emotions, and mythology.

I loved to think about what adulthood would look and feel like. How I would work, pay my bills, date, and live the single life before settling into a successful marriage.

When you are a kid you do not think about the seconds, minutes, days, weeks, months, and years of struggle and failure. You don't think about the stress of taking a risk. Putting yourself out there and failing.

Now I have left the welcome bosom of school to enter the world of reality and I miss school. Not necessarily the the debt or the hair pulling exams. I miss learning. Working with people not concerned with money, but about the way they could impact the world. Fiction is often better then reality. (Hmm, Right?!). 

Reality this week was beautiful, frustrating, scary, depressing, and barely like anything I planned or envisioned for my future. Next week will be the same. And the week after that. And the week after that week. And for the rest of my life the plans I make are little more then a cold comfort.

But I will keep dreaming, writing, and planning. I will keep trying, failing, succeeding. I will do it because giving up is easy and as I stated before. Meeting the challenges I set for myself and successfully passing my goals feeds my pride. It needs to be stronger then my fear.

Best Wishes,

Jen A. Durand, Founder of Durand Publishing

P.S I have decided to giveaway free copies of one of my titles available on Kindle, Kobo, and Nook. 
In order for a reader to qualify. The reader must join my mailing list on my website www.DurandPublishing.net and leave a review on either Barnes & Noble, Kobo, or Amazon. Remember Reviewing is Caring. 😘 






Completed Works:

The Secrets, Lies, and Betrayal Series:

The Virgins Club:

Lipstick Diaries




The Young and The Powerful

Monday, October 3, 2016

Free Giveaway

Hi All,

I have decided to giveaway free copies of one of my titles available on Kindle, Kobo, and Nook. 
In order for a reader to qualify. The reader must join my mailing list on my website www.DurandPublishing.net and leave a review on either Barnes & Noble, Kobo, or Amazon.

Best Wishes,

Jen A. Durand, Founder of Durand Publishing


P.S Remember Reviewing is Caring. 😘