Showing posts with label Faith. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Faith. Show all posts

Sunday, January 14, 2018

New year, New Lies We Tell Ourselves...


    I don't make new years resolutions. Usually because that would require thinking about my life beyond the next week and that most often leads to a spiral. I find it is best for my mental stability to only take things a week at a time. This year has just begun and I have already had a few verbal arguments (I'm trying guys), done some charitable giving (Supporting a college aged sister counts right?), and wished I lived on a remote island only accessible by amazon planes so I can use my "prime" shipping.
    My life, like most others, is full of ups and downs. Twist and turns... Loops and nosedives. Last year was another year of growing I needed and offered a lot of hurdles. But I am still standing. My legs are still moving and occasionally I feel like running.
    This year I want give myself a chance to make some real changes. This year I want to make a few resolutions. Don't get too excited, this may turn into a pack of lies (hence the title).
    This year I want to do for the year of 2018:
        1. Kiss a man without knowing his first name (Overcoming some very serious germaphobia)
        2. Write at least four books (While maintain some semblance of a life and working full time)
        3. Go somewhere with a lot of sand and sun (Can't waste a winter of getting beach body ready right? Ha, yeah right.)
      4. Go on a date with a man I did not immediately regret getting dressed up for (Dude, why are you not even worth the effort I put into blending into my              concealer?)
        5. Stand up in a room full of people and shine. (Can't just save the smartassery for my house and close friends)
        6. Walk away from unnecessary drama, even when I know I am right, because it is not worth the years subtracted from my life (It is just sooo hard!!!)
    Right! So there it is. My list of resolutions/possible lies. It is, a few weeks late I know, but at least it is here and in the right month.
    I know it has been a while since I have posted. Life got crazy... Books needed writing... Bills needed to be paid. Haha. But I want to reassure you all of those things will happen again this year and I will manage to get a post up at least one a month. Writing as good a balm as any for a antisocial introvert like me. I get to share my thoughts without having to have a prolonged conversation where I am constantly reviewing what I said to make sure I don't offend delicate sensibilities (have I mentioned I can be a bit of a smartass?).
    I want this space to be a safe place, a reprieve from the crazy that is the outside world. I want those who read my work to laugh, cry, and walk away from the scenes that pushed all of their buttons until they have found their happy median again.
    This year will be the year of faith and adventure. Do you want to be a part of it?

Contact Info:

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www.DurandPublishing.net

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Friday, July 14, 2017

Dream Date



We pick something fun with lots of bombs
and a predictable ending.
You wear your favorite tee and a pair of old sweats.
I'm wearing my glasses and a dozen dots of zit cream.
My head is on your lap 
as your sock covered feet rest on the coffee table.
Your fingers play with the tips of my braids.
I'm trying to throw popcorn into your mouth.
You tease me, when I squeak during the tense scenes.
I tease you, when you drool over the cars.
We aren't trying to impress each other.
We are happy.
Carefree.
We are living the dream.

Friday, March 31, 2017

Therapy

The wishes I have are simple.
The hopes I have are not new.
The things I have seen are not unheard of.
The faith I have has been betrayed.
My trust has not gone untested.
My heart has been broken.
But my eyes do see things.
My ears do hear.
My ways may be different.
My insight difficult to hear.
But I do know one thing.
It must be heard.

Wednesday, March 8, 2017

Victim No Longer (Excerpt From "Billionaire's Contracted Family")

Hugging Asha to her chest, Isabella carefully navigated the stairs. Someone was ringing the doorbell like their life depended on it. Evan had gone out to run errands after their walk in the park. She had been about to give Asha a bottle and put the baby down for a nap.
She had a couple of client calls to return and reseach to do. She’d been thinking about taking some online nursing classes. Not finishing school was not something she wanted to regret in the future. Asha should have two role models to look up to.
The doorbell rang again and she rolled her eyes as Asha whimpered. Rushing into the living room, she laid Asha down in the empty playpen. Isabella did not like to answer the door with the baby in her arms.
“Just a minute,” she called out over her shoulder.
She had to get rid of the visitor before Asha realized her bottle had been delayed. Otherwise, she would cry the house down. Adjusting the straps of her top, Isabella turned towards the front of the house.
By the time she reached the door, she was ready to do some yelling of her own. Who the hell thought ringing the bell that many times did anything other than irritating the homes owners? Gripping the doorknob she yanked the door open ready to give them a piece of her mind. When her words caught in the center of her throat.
Tommy…
Every nightmare came crashing down at her as he grinned and pulled the sunglasses from his eyes. “Took you long enough, Bella.”
Shaking off the shock, Isabella tried to push the door close. Tommy slammed the flat of his palm down and shoved it back open.
“Aren’t you going to invite me in?”
“Leave or I am calling the police.”
“I am the police. I came a long way to see you.”
Tommy hustled his way in and Isabella gave up on closing the door. Their alarm system would be triggered if left open for longer then five minutes. Besides she wanted the neighbors to hear if she screamed.
Like most cowards, Tommy would run if he thought he would get caught.
“You are trespassing on private land.”
He smirked and shoved a hand into the pocket of his faded jeans. The edge of his cotton button up were frayed. She did not remember him looking so shabby or so small. In her mind, he’d always been this tall muscle bound giant. He towered over everything and intimidated everyone.
He was still tall, but he didn’t tower. He still had muscles, but she knew that wasn’t everything. Her self-defense classes had taught her tactics to avoid the full impact of a hit. She wouldn’t curl up and wait for it to be over anymore.
“I just came to see an old friend.”
“We aren’t friends,” Isabella denied as she tried to remember where she left her cell.
She’d tucked it into Asha’s diaper bag when they left the house earlier. Evan hadn’t mentioned when he’d come back and their housekeeper had weekends off. She couldn’t risk leaving Asha alone downstairs while she ran to the nursery to get to her phone.
“That’s right,” Tommy reached out and tried to touch her arm, “we’re family.”
Stepping back, she tried to hide her shock. He couldn’t know about Asha. No one, but her and Evan knew the truth about her paternity.
“We aren’t anything. You are a mistake I will always regret making.”
Tommy shook his head and chuckled. “Is that what you told yourself when you left? Big bad Tommy deserves all the blame. Never mind the fact, you never could do anything right.”
Isabella huffed in disbelief. “I am not doing this.”
It had taken her months of therapy to see just how messed up she was. How ripe she was for a predator like him? Looking for love and acceptance after living in a home that had a short supply of both.
“How could you think I would let you walk away?”
“It isn’t about you. I didn’t need your permission.”
“You look good for a woman who recently gave birth.”
She eyed the alarm panel as a small red light started blinking. Their security team would make a routine check-in within two minutes. She just had to keep him in the front hall.
Asha picked that minute to start her plea for food. Tommy turned towards the noise and Isabella had never felt so scared in her life. He did not deserve to breath the same air as her daughter and he would have to kill her before he could spend any time with Asha.
“You need to leave,” Isabella repeated as she circled around to stand between him and the room Asha was in.
“You really thought you could keep me away from my daughter?”
“She isn’t yours.”
Tommy growled, “you were never a good liar.”
“Right. But I am a cheater, remember. My daughter is my husband’s. She has nothing to do with you.” Isabella saw the flash of anger in his eyes and the way his hands tightened into a fists.
He wanted to hit her and she wanted him to try. He would learn pretty quickly she wasn’t the same girl he terrified. She had something she wanted to protect more than she wanted to protect herself. Asha did not deserve a father like him.
Doubt held him back. She could see that to. He wasn’t sure Asha was his. He was fishing.
“Leave Tommy. You have no reason to be here.”
A SUV pulled into the driveway and two navy blue uniformed security guards stepped out. Isabella felt like she could breath again. First she would get Tommy out of the house, then she’d take Asha to Bianca’s and call Evan. Maybe she could talk him into going away for a few days?
Tommy looked down at her with undisguised contempt. “I don’t believe you.”
“I don’t care what you believe. DNA doesn’t lie. Do you really think a man like my husband, with the money he has, wouldn’t make sure the baby was his?”
She was lying through her teeth and she would probably pay for it one day. But she didn’t care. He had not business, standing there, demanding entrance into her life. He’d lost the right the first time he decided she needed to know what it felt like to be hit by a man.
“Mrs. Hunter?”
The guards stepped called out as they stepped onto her porch. She smiled and crossed her arms. He was going to leave this house one way or another.
“Leave Tommy. Or I will have security throw you out.”
Asha had one father. He rocked her to sleep and measured her food intake. He blew raspberries into her belly and read to her to sleep. He loved her and cherished her knowing she wasn’t his genetically. Most importantly…

He would die before hitting her. He wasn’t Tommy.

Jen A. Durand

Monday, March 6, 2017

Twisted Love


In the beginning,
we enchanted each other.
Intoxicated by the other's touch.
Then the cracks started.
And the mirrors shattered.
We started down a path.
To heartbreak.
Jen A. Durand

Completed Works
Secrets, Lies, & Betrayal Series:

The Virgins Club:

Lipstick Diaries:

Solo Romances:
Lasting Kind Of Love

True Match Arrangements:

The Young and The Powerful

Wednesday, February 22, 2017

Where Do I See Myself In Five Years...


Someone asked me that question during a mock interview and it floored me a little. Not because I do not think about my future or what I want in that future. But because the way I think of it is not in the way a prospective employer or business partner. In the same way I do not think of success in terms of awards or accolades.
I do things, not in the hopes that they will be well received, but in the hopes I never regret not doing it. People say it is better to say sorry, than to ask for permission and be denied. Stepping into this world of adulthood it is becoming more and more apparent that nothing in life happens according to plan.
In some ways I guess I believe in fate. Not in the sense that people have no control over their future, but in the sense that there are things people have to go through. There is hurt people have to feel and lessons people have to learn.
I live a relatively tame life. I personally think that I am a boring person. Individually. My family as a whole has its moments. But me on a daily basis is the normal grind of a girl trying to carve out a life of success for herself. Maybe it's because I write female leads with such dramatic, comedic, and amazing sex lives that my life just pales in comparison?
I work, hang with friends or family, cook, write, respond to emails. Occusionaply on my off hours I do legal research for family members who believe I live off of prayers and plates of rice. (Though I shouldn't complain too much because they do feed me and prayers are always appreciated.) My present is full, crazy, stressful, busy, and happy for the most part. My future will hopefully be the same way.
When I think of the future it is not in set markers. I think about it in the sense of personal success. I approach work with the mindset that my hard work may not always be rewarded, but at least I know I did the best that I could.
In five years, I want to be stronger, wiser, and smarter than I am today. I want to be surrounded in a eco system of love. I want to own a house. Run a financially solid business. Excel in my professional field and be the kind of person I have always wanted to be.
I hope to be independent and happy in whatever position I am in because I know I have dreams and the tools to reach them. Now try saying all of that to a prospective employer and not feeling like you have talked to much. Hence why that is a question I am constantly searching for the canned answer for. The future a fluid thing with all sorts of ripples and waves. I have no clue where I will be or the people who will be beside me. But I do know in five or ten years I will be successful...
Because in my mind I am successful here and now. Just by being able to be myself, learn, change, mold my future, and reach for what I want without asking permission, but occasionally tossing apologies over my shoulder.

Completed Works
Secrets, Lies, & Betrayal Series:

The Virgins Club:

Lipstick Diaries:

Solo Romances:
Lasting Kind Of Love

True Match Arrangements:

The Young and The Powerful

Friday, December 2, 2016

I Was That Friend...


I was that friend, 
with the coke bottle glasses.
The tightly gripped notebook.
And the fear of attention.

I was that friend,
constantly telling you to get down from there.
To walk with care.
To do your homework.

I was that friend,
you would call when you were finally ready to listen to reason.
Or you would tease because she was writing or reading.

I was that friend,
who cried when you did.
Who laughed when you did.
Who fought with you like only siblings would.

I am the friend,
constantly checking on your welfare.
Encouraging you to reach for your dreams.
Encouraging you to laugh because you will live longer.
And who talks too much on occasion.

I am that friend,
because you are my friend.

Completed Works

Secrets, Lies, and Betrayal Series:

The Virgins Club:

Lipstick Diaries:
Things Left Unsaid