What is it and why does it sometimes seem like it is applied differently between the genders. I happen to be the type of girl who just likes to hang out with people. To talk and listen to the opinions and the beliefs of others. Especially men. It is interesting to hear the differences in the way we think and how certain words seem to take on a different meaning among the sexes. The most glaring example is loyalty. Especially in its application to monogamy.
The other day I was sitting in the library of my school with a few friends and we were having a candid conversation about cheating. The men were up in arms talking about how women who cheat are not for them. They insisted that when men cheat and women cheat it is on two different levels. Because our vagina’s are directly tied to our hearts. The fact that we take a man into our beds mean more then just a good lay. Men consistently insist that their penises and their hearts are not even on the same hemisphere most days. They offer up the justification/excuse that while they can stick themselves into whatever opening available, they only hand their heart out to their “main”.
Main. Main? Your main woman. The one who cooks for you. Dresses like your personal model, holds your hand, listens to your dreams, and encourages you to set and achieve your goals. She holds you down. She is also expected to be loyal to your relationship. Which to some men means that infidelity should not be a deal breaker. It’s a violation to your shared relationship and their “Ride or Die” status is revoked.
But what about the reverse? Why doesn’t a man’s status as their woman’s “Ride or Die” get buried? Women enjoy sex as much as men. They just tend to be more discriminating with whom they let into that space. Why? Because that is how we are socialized to be. Times are changing and women are starting to become independent. Becoming the wife is not the brass ring any more.
But the expectation of monogamy is not and should not be difficult. It is my perspective that loyalty is a two way street. Your heart should be with me, but your brain should have enough control over your body to keep the rest of you in check. Otherwise find someone willing to be that type of woman for you. Someone willing to stand by your side with a bright smile, while you sleep with anything and everything that moves. Open relationships work for some people.
I am one of five. I have had to share a lot in my life. I do not mind it usually. But once we get to the point where we are public and I am inviting you to meet my people I need to be the only person laying claim on those bits of you. Loyalty begets loyalty. Otherwise, bye.
Jen A. Durand
Author of The Secrets, Lies, and Betrayal Series and The Virgins Club, www.Durandpublishing.net
Jen A. Durand
Author of The Secrets, Lies, and Betrayal Series and The Virgins Club, www.Durandpublishing.net
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