New year, New Lies We Tell Ourselves...

    I don't make new years resolutions. Usually because that would require thinking about my life beyond the next week and that most often leads to a spiral. I find it is best for my mental stability to only take things a week at a time. This year has just begun and I have already had a few verbal arguments (I'm trying guys), done some charitable giving (Supporting a college aged sister counts right?), and wished I lived on a remote island only accessible by amazon planes so I can use my "prime" shipping.

    My life, like most others, is full of ups and downs. Twist and turns... Loops and nosedives. Last year was another year of growing I needed and offered a lot of hurdles. But I am still standing. My legs are still moving and occasionally I feel like running.

    This year I want give myself a chance to make some real changes. This year I want to make a few resolutions. Don't get too excited, this may turn into a pack of lies (hence the title).

    This year I want to do for the year of 2018:

        1. Kiss a man without knowing his first name (Overcoming some very serious germaphobia)

        2. Write at least four books (While maintain some semblance of a life and working full time)

        3. Go somewhere with a lot of sand and sun (Can't waste a winter of getting beach body ready right? Ha, yeah right.)

      4. Go on a date with a man I did not immediately regret getting dressed up for (Dude, why are you not even worth the effort I put into blending into my              concealer?)

        5. Stand up in a room full of people and shine. (Can't just save the smartassery for my house and close friends)

        6. Walk away from unnecessary drama, even when I know I am right, because it is not worth the years subtracted from my life (It is just sooo hard!!!)

    Right! So there it is. My list of resolutions/possible lies. It is, a few weeks late I know, but at least it is here and in the right month.

    I know it has been a while since I have posted. Life got crazy... Books needed writing... Bills needed to be paid. Haha. But I want to reassure you all of those things will happen again this year and I will manage to get a post up at least one a month. Writing as good a balm as any for a antisocial introvert like me. I get to share my thoughts without having to have a prolonged conversation where I am constantly reviewing what I said to make sure I don't offend delicate sensibilities (have I mentioned I can be a bit of a smartass?).

    I want this space to be a safe place, a reprieve from the crazy that is the outside world. I want those who read my work to laugh, cry, and walk away from the scenes that pushed all of their buttons until they have found their happy median again.

    This year will be the year of faith and adventure. Do you want to be a part of it?

Contact Info:

Website:

www.DurandPublishing.net

Facebook:

Durand Publishing

Wintr's Homecoming

Jaguar Nights

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Jensawanderingthoughts

Loss ( Except From "Things We Left Unsaid")

Sometimes it felt as if there was no more air left in this world. As if she could not breathe because all of it had been sucked out of the room and there was nothing left for her. It took everything inside of her, not to shatter into a million pieces. To hide her pain from everyone.

Taylor gathered her legs to her chest and gasped for precious breath. No one truly understood the way she felt. No one knew what if felt like to lose something she’d been sure was safe inside of her. Someone so precious.

The pale buttercream walls, zoo themed accents, and empty wood carved crib. Her daughter’s nursery. The one she insisted they paint together and stocked full of everything a baby could need. How many times had she come in here just to make sure nothing was out of place? She wanted everything to be perfect for the day she got to bring their baby home.

Ian tried not to look in the direction of this room. Swallowing hard, she laid her head on her jean covered knees. He wanted to pack everything up. Put the loss behind them and move on. But she couldn’t do it just yet. There was an ache that just would not fade. A sorrow she just could not release.

Touching the dark green long sleeved onesie in her hand, she tried to imagine what Reese would have looked like in something so small. Imagine what her daughter would have looked like if she lived. If Taylor had done a better job of keeping her safe.

Tears coursed across her nose as she heard a shuffle behind her. Ian must have come home early. She planned to leave the room before he came back. He didn’t like her coming in here. Didn’t like seeing her like this. His grief was more reserved.

She’d only seen him cry twice. That night in the hospital and the day they buried her. She could feel the weight of his gaze before he turned and walked away. They weren’t in sync any more. She could feel it and didn’t know how to change it.

Or if she had the energy to do more than she was already doing. He was supposed to be the one she could lean on. Instead he made her feel like her grief was taking to long. As if this was a wound that should have scabbed over already.

She was trying.

She made sure he woke up with her beside him. Smiled as she cooked him breakfast and sent him off to work. Laughed even when all she wanted to do was lay down on the floor of this nursery. This wasn’t healthy and she knew it. But it was what she needed and trying to pretend that it wasn’t… Took a lot out of her.

Sniffling she wiped her face and sat up. Taylor wasn’t the same woman he’d married. The passion and strength that had guided her most of her life was nowhere in sight. She felt crumpled and fixing it was hard when all she could see is what they’d lost.

Jen A. Durand

Completed Works

Secrets, Lies, & Betrayal Series:

Wintr’s Homecoming: Secrets

Jaguar Nights: Lies

Pearl Moon: Betrayal

Shadowy Lights: Fear

Cold Sun: Obsession

The Virgins Club:

The Planner

The Fixer

The Dreamer

Lipstick Diaries:

Shy Meets Bold

Wicked Meets Bad Boy

Confident Meets Bold

Solo Romances:

The Prince’s Heart

Closing The Deal

Things We Left Unsaid

Stuck Between Two Millionaires

Twins For Christmas

Lasting Kind Of Love

True Match Arrangements:

Billionaire’s Perfect Bride
Billionaire's Contracted Family

The Young and The Powerful

Witch’s Reflection

Inspiration

        I have always loved to read and write. It was my way of relieving stress and experiencing adventure. I lived vicariously through the characters written down on paper. It started with Goodnight Moon, A Chair for My Mother, Oh The Places You’ll Go, and Anansi. Eventually that grew into Sarah Desson books and The First Part Last. Then I started reading series like Christen Feehan and The more I read, the more I wanted to write. To express my reality through words on a page and to draw in readers. There has been many nonstarters and incomplete stories. But they have all expressed a view uniquely special because they all reflect pieces of me. The more I read. The more I learned. The more adventures I went on. Eventually I was struck by the lack of diversity in the romantic and paranormal stories I loved. I come from an ethnically diverse background and wanted to read stories, which paid homage to that.

        The Secrets, Lies, and Betrayal Series and The Virgins Club especially reflects my wishes in many ways. My stories explore a range of themes and my characters make mistakes. They are not cookie cutter; they do not fit into a box or familiar stereotypes. Jinx Wintr (Wintr’s Homecoming) is an overbearing, slightly abrasive, wine drinker with a heart of gold. She is willing to go to hell and back for those she loves. Anaya Jalloh (Jaguar Nights) is a strong independent woman, mother, and leader. She places a lot on faith on fate and the strength of love. Livia Penton (Pearl Moon) has had her life turned upside down and a parasite growing in her belly by the month. She learns that life punches do not have the ability to knock her out. Gleela Joseph (Shadowy Lights) has never known true acceptance among her own kind. She has spent her life living down and scorning her mother. Eventually she comes to appreciate her mother’s ability to thumb her nose at disapproval. These women come in different shapes, colors, ethnic background, and experiences. Their stories are interconnected but can stand-alone. I am constantly rereading these stories and thinking of ways to drive the series forward and explore more of the wonder that comes for expressing a new culture.

        Wintr’s Homecoming was the first story I birthed and released into the world. A romantic comedy it deals with the fears and hang-ups of a commitment phobe. There is a slight reverse because the person running away for the bonds of endless love is the woman. She is smart independent with a haunted past and a lot of buried hurt. Jinx wants love but she hates the idea of risking it all for love. Dominic has lived a long life thinking his time would never come. His soul mate did not exist. In the end she comes to him in the form of an old friend grown up into a sensual woman. This is an interracial romance but that does not dominate the story. It is the story of a dominant woman meeting her match in the form of a dominant wolf.

        Jaguar Nights is book two in the series and is inspired by the part “Lies” play in the destruction of a relationship. In book one, Wintr’s Homecoming, the reader met Micah. King of the Were-Jaguars. He does not play a major part in book one but small hints are given about his temperament and his marriage. In Jaguar Nights, the reader meets his wife Anaya. She is Queen of the Were-Jaguars by birth. A matriarchal society. Anaya was raised to lead her people with strength and dignity. Micah wanted nothing to do with their tribe and had spent his youth dreaming of a life outside of their small village. Anaya loves Micah as much as she hates the way their relationship. Now they both have to heal old scars in order to continue into a future together.

        Pearl Moon is book three. Livia Penton is featured by some degree in the other two books. She is the pregnant ex-girlfriend of the King of Dragons. Hurt by her ex-boyfriend’s disappearing act after her pregnancy announcement. Livia is trying to figure out how to be more then just the party girl she was used to. She was just beginning to get comfortable with the thought of being a single parent when Seiji Kuang, the father of her baby, drops in looking like he had been through a warzone. He is saying all of the things she wanted him to say weeks ago. Doing the things she dreamed he would do. It would have been easy to forget he could not be trusted.

        Shadowy Lights is book four. Gleela “Glee” Joseph deals with the part fear plays in a relationship. Glee has loved one man for as long as she can remember. She had been by his side and shared his bed. Yet there is a distance between them. Prince Andris Portè will is the only heir to the throne. All expect him to marry someone of pure blood. Definitely not the half-breed Glee. While she came from the right home, few were willing to overlook the fact her mother was not an Elf but a Nymph. They judged her based off of her mother’s indiscretions and wanted her as far from Andris as possible. Glee let their judgment create doubt and fear. It dominated her actions until finally it pushed Andris away. Now Glee needs to face her fears or lose her chance to be with the only man in her heart.

        The Virgins Club was inspired by a phone call with a friend. We were talking about the part sex plays in a relationship and whether a committed relationship can venture anywhere without it. The Fixer (Book One) and The Planner (Book Two) are short reads but take a shallow look at romance where love is not found in the sheets but in the foundation these couples built between themselves. It was fun to write these stories and create these characters whom do not look at virginity as something to be ashamed of, but as something that can be navigated in the hopes that a health relationship can be had.

        My inspiration comes from my observations. I watch people, movies, and television. I listen to my friends, and family. I apply the magic of the written word to come up with this unique storyline. These characters sometimes even amaze me. There are times when I am rereading while editing and am struck with the way the scene went. Sometimes it is not you writing and guiding, but your characters taking control. They will come out at the strangest times and will veer off the path you, as the writer, thought you were going to take.

Jen A. Durand

Completed Works

Secrets, Lies, & Betrayal Series:

Wintr’s Homecoming: Secrets

Jaguar Nights: Lies

Pearl Moon: Betrayal

Shadowy Lights: Fear

Cold Sun: Obsession

The Virgins Club:

The Planner

The Fixer

The Dreamer

Lipstick Diaries:

Shy Meets Bold

Wicked Meets Bad Boy

Confident Meets Bold

Solo Romances:

The Prince’s Heart

Closing The Deal

Things We Left Unsaid

Stuck Between Two Millionaires

Twins For Christmas

Lasting Kind Of Love

Billionaire’s Perfect Bride

The Young and The Powerful

Witch’s Reflection

The Chaser Man or Woman?

The other day I was talking with a friend. Tall and model thin, J is an interesting mix of confident and insecure. Smart, beautiful, and funny. J like me, Jen, is the type of woman to see what she likes and what she does not like. Maybe it is because of the first initial of our names? *Kidding, but maybe not.

I have seen her walk up to the man that she wants and tell him she finds him attractive. I have also seen her look in the mirror and complain about non-existant belly fat and acne. J and I were walking in the city and talking about the state of our dating lives. About men and our approach to flirting. *This was of course after we had a very smart conversation about international law and politics. (Must always pass the Bechdel-Wallace Test).

She talked about how men do not always have to make the first move and how sometimes it is up to us as women to make our interest known. I listened, then disagreed.


Head strong, I am the type of woman who truly believes that women and men should be equal in rights and power. It frustrates me to no end when people talk about gender roles and perpetuate the idea that woman are supposed to be completely subservient to a man. Growing up in a Caribbean household, I was taught that as a young woman I had to be educated like a man and still cook, serve, clean, and welcome a man who occasional took out the trash and did some yard work.

Raised by a single mom who did all of those things and was still left by her husband, I decided to go a different route. I decided that instead of cooking, serving, and cleaning, for a man in an effort to keep him. I would look for a partner. Someone who would match my qualities and be my partner. The first test of that is your ability to overcome whatever misapprehension you have to talk to me first.

Not behind a computer screen or a some app. But here in reality. Show me your "metal", because if I have to approach you? Then I just won't. Not based out of fear, but based off a , perhaps flawed perception, of gift wrapping myself for a man.

I have this urge to state that I love men. I love, love. I also read romance books like a starving person inhales pub style onion rings and a burger. But I do not always like how subservient the woman are to the men. Independence is not just saying what you want. It is also making moves with autonomy that acknowledges the partnership that has been entered into, but also supports individualism.

Jen A. Durand

Completed Works

Secrets, Lies, & Betrayal Series:

Wintr’s Homecoming: Secrets

Jaguar Nights: Lies

Pearl Moon: Betrayal

Shadowy Lights: Fear

Cold Sun: Obsession

The Virgins Club:

The Planner

The Fixer

The Dreamer

Lipstick Diaries:

Shy Meets Bold

Wicked Meets Bad Boy

Confident Meets Bold

Solo Romances:

The Prince’s Heart

Closing The Deal

Things We Left Unsaid

Stuck Between Two Millionaires

Twins For Christmas

Lasting Kind Of Love

Billionaire’s Perfect Bride

The Young and The Powerful

Witch’s Reflection

Jinx Wintr - Character Growth

         Jinx Wintr is perhaps one of the characters I love writing the most. I love all of my characters. Their quirks, fears, and egos. Everything about them is carefully constructed and thought about. Dreamed about in some cases. But Jinx is the character I am most proud of and protective of.

         She is abrasive, loud, and overly protective. She is a bit of a busybody and incapable of completely trusting in something as grand as love. When the reader first meets her, she is a young woman at the top of her professional career. Her life beginnings and ends with her friends and work. She hides behind this tough exterior to protect herself and to forget past hurts.

         Jinx is on a mission to talk one of her friends out of a shotgun wedding. A huge proponent of unencumbered living. She has a hard time accepting that Nicole is marrying a man she has only known for a grand total of six months. Once Jinx accepts Nicole is not in need of rescuing she is suddenly confronted with a past she thought was dead and buried.

         Dominic Lowell is the love of Jinx’s life, and the physical representation of all that she lost when her father died. Their connection terrifies her and attracts her at the same time. Dominic does not push her past the breaking point, but he does not let her run and hide.

         She is a character motivated by loss and a fear of hurt. Every choice she makes is in order to avoid the eventuality of pain. Dominic is a choice that could give her limitless happiness, but Jinx is also aware that there is a distinct possibility she could lose her sense of self in their relationship. Throughout Wintr’s Homecoming the reader goes along on this adventure where the Heroine is not built for battle, but is willing to risk everything for the man who wormed his way into her heart.

Here is an exclusive of Wintr’s Homecoming –Excerpt from Chapter 5

         Dominic chuckled as he reached across the table to tap Jinx’s nose like he used to when she was younger. “When Nicole talked about her friend Jinx with the amazing brown skin, stubborn streak, and fiery temper. We should have known there was only one you.”

         Jinx rolled her eyes and downed one more shot. She was stubborn. And she did have a temper. But she was also aware no one else could talk to Nicole for her. She placed her hand on the tabletop and stood up.  The sudden movement caused the three shots to rush straight to her head. Her knees weakened.

         Jinx frowned as she hurriedly gripped the table’s edge to keep from swaying to the ground. The room started to spin at an axis and her thoughts took on a unfamiliar fuzz.

          “What the hell did I drink,” Jinx asked as she touched her cheeks surprised at how numb they felt.

         Dominic shrugged and Julian patted Jinx’s hand. “It’s like a kick in the teeth the first time, but you get used to it.”

         “I don’t get this drunk this fast.”

         Julian laughed as he held up the bottle. “Abigail has been experimenting with moonshine in her spare time.”

         Jinx grimaced. Abigail was Dominic’s younger sister and had been hell on wheels twelve years ago.  Apparently that, like everything else, had not changed.  Already the alcohol was making her feel a little lightheaded and giggly. 

         The room seemed brighter, and her anger faded a little as the liquor warmed her. She was a happy drunk person.  Alcohol made her all warm, happy, and fuzzy.

Dominic frowned and stepped in front of her. “Are you okay?”

         Jinx smiled as she placed a hand on Dominic cheek and rubbed. The stubble of his five o’clock shadow scrapped against her skin. His features really had not changed at all since the last time she had seen him. 

         There were benefits to being a part of the supernatural biosphere. Looking forever young was definitely a perk.  Dominic had the most piercing green eyes, bronzed skin, and the perfect shaped head for a crew cut. 

         “I had the biggest crush on you when I was younger.”

         Dominic shared a look with his cousin. “We should have kept it to one drink.”

         Jinx bit her lip then grinned.  “I. I missed you guys a lot, but I also hated you a little.”

         “Definitely should have kept it to one drink,” Dominic said as Jinx wrapped her arms around his neck and breathed deep.

****

         Julian chuckled as Jinx released Dominic and pulled him into a hug. Nicole must have decided she had given them enough alone time because she stormed into the kitchen. Jinx smiled and lifted her hands into the air and rushed into Nicole’s stunned arms.

         “Hello Beautiful.”

         Nicole stared at Dominic and Julian accusingly as Jinx squeezed her tight. “You got her drunk.”

        End of Excerpt.

In some ways Jinx is a hurt little girl who has to find her way back home. She spent so long denying a part of herself, that her homecoming is not to a physical place. Her homecoming is her acceptance of every part of herself.

Jen A. Durand

Completed Works

Secrets, Lies, & Betrayal Series:

Wintr’s Homecoming: Secrets

Jaguar Nights: Lies

Pearl Moon: Betrayal

Shadowy Lights: Fear

Cold Sun: Obsession

The Virgins Club:

The Planner

The Fixer

The Dreamer

Lipstick Diaries:

Shy Meets Bold

Wicked Meets Bad Boy

Confident Meets Bold

Solo Romances:

The Prince’s Heart

Closing The Deal

Things We Left Unsaid

Stuck Between Two Millionaires

Twins For Christmas

Lasting Kind Of Love

Billionaire’s Perfect Bride

The Young and The Powerful

Witch’s Reflection

Ride Or Die Loyalty?

       What is it and why does it sometimes seem like it is applied differently between the genders. I happen to be the type of girl who just likes to hang out with people. To talk and listen to the opinions and the beliefs of others. Especially men. It is interesting to hear the differences in the way we think and how certain words seem to take on a different meaning among the sexes. The most glaring example is loyalty. Especially in its application to monogamy.

       The other day I was sitting in the library of my school with a few friends and we were having a candid conversation about cheating. The men were up in arms talking about how women who cheat are not for them. They insisted that when men cheat and women cheat it is on two different levels. Because our vagina’s are directly tied to our hearts. The fact that we take a man into our beds mean more then just a good lay. Men consistently insist that their penises and their hearts are not even on the same hemisphere most days. They offer up the justification/excuse that while they can stick themselves into whatever opening available, they only hand their heart out to their “main”.

       Main. Main? Your main woman. The one who cooks for you. Dresses like your personal model, holds your hand, listens to your dreams, and encourages you to set and achieve your goals. She holds you down. She is also expected to be loyal to your relationship. Which to some men means that infidelity should not be a deal breaker. It’s a violation to your shared relationship and their “Ride or Die” status is revoked.

       But what about the reverse? Why doesn’t a man’s status as their woman’s “Ride or Die” get buried? Women enjoy sex as much as men. They just tend to be more discriminating with whom they let into that space. Why? Because that is how we are socialized to be. Times are changing and women are starting to become independent. Becoming the wife is not the brass ring any more. 

       But the expectation of monogamy is not and should not be difficult. It is my perspective that loyalty is a two way street. Your heart should be with me, but your brain should have enough control over your body to keep the rest of you in check. Otherwise find someone willing to be that type of woman for you. Someone willing to stand by your side with a bright smile, while you sleep with anything and everything that moves. Open relationships work for some people.

       I am one of five. I have had to share a lot in my life. I do not mind it usually. But once we get to the point where we are public and I am inviting you to meet my people I need to be the only person laying claim on those bits of you. Loyalty begets loyalty. Otherwise, bye.

Jen A. Durand

Author of The Secrets, Lies, and Betrayal Series and The Virgins Club, www.Durandpublishing.net

Completed Works

Secrets, Lies, and Betrayal Series:

Wintr’s Homecoming: Secrets 

Jaguar Nights: Lies 

Pearl Moon: Betrayal 

Shadowy Lights: Fear

Cold Sun: Obsession

The Virgins Club:

The Planner 

The Fixer 

Lipstick Diaries:

She Meets Bold

Wicked Meets Bad Boy
Confident Meets Cold

The Prince’s Heart 

Things Left Unsaid

Stuck Between Two Millionaires

Lasting Kind Of Love

Twins For Christmas

Closing The Deal