Showing posts with label Bonds. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Bonds. Show all posts

Sunday, April 8, 2018

New Love

    I fall in love multiple times a day sometimes. It makes me smile at the most inappropriate times. It raises my spirits when I am feeling particularly lowWhen I read... When I write, my mind creates miniature movies where the characters play out the dialogue and my heart races with anticipation of the next scene. 
    "Paris felt Douglas' gaze on the back of her neck as she slowly pulled files from the shelves behind her desk. Her dark brown cheeks burning as she tried to forget her embarrassment from the first five minutes of their meeting. Prone to bouts of clumsiness, she'd seen the trip happen before it actually did. Why wouldn't she make a fool of herself on the first day of her new position? Life just wouldn't be fair if she had managed to make it through the day unscathed."
    Just a few sentences and I am invested in Paris. I relate to her inability to coordinate. I want to know more about her job and to find out if Douglas is a hottie. I want to know if Douglas is a jerk or if he has the skill to calm Paris' nerves.
    When I am writing I am falling in love with my characters. I cry when they cry. I cheer when they win. I scream when they go down the wrong hall or make a bad decision and I support their growth.
    I find beauty in the most simplest of scenes. Where you can feel the sensations of the characters just based off of your own life. I like to highlight how even in a novel based out of fantasy, those scenes are necessary to build a connection with the reader.
    "Livia slowly slipped off her boots and tucked them into the shoe cabinet by the door before making her way into her new home. New home... She had a new home and she hadn't even been looking.  More than a few months pregnant with a belly she could scarcely believe was there moving had not been a picnic. Not that she wasn't enjoying the upgrade from a three-bedroom condo the meatpacking district to a penthouse suite on the upper west side. Following the scent of scallions and garlic, she smiled and made her way towards the kitchen. Sei had promised her a home-cooked meal to make up for the last few nights he'd been away attending late-night meetings. The Summit was coming and the City was a veritable whose who of prominent Fae. Jinx had spent the first half of their lunch together complaining about how the increased concentration of magical beings was giving her a headache. She'd been dragged through a crash course of the magical community she'd been blind to for most of her life by circumstances far out of her control. Shuffling forward, she bumped Sei's back with her protruding belly. 'Smells good.'"
    With each new story, new character, new life created... I fall in love... With the idea of those characters and the lives they lead. It is that new love. You know what I am talking about. You have felt it before. It is the kind of love where you wake up thinking about them. You get excited just knowing you will get to see them later and spend time with them.
    When I reread a book or a scene it feels like I have gone on a second date. Like we are getting another chance to get to know one another and to really see if we get along. Does the thought of your smile cause my breath to catch? Do I wish I could take a page out of Sherrilyn Kenyon's Fantasy Lover and read you into existence? Will you feature in my dreams?
    What characters do you love? How does it feel when you put pen to paper and create a world. How about when you are reading a book? Do you have a full-length feature playing in your head? Do you talk to the pages or slam the book shut when the scene just gets too real? Leave a comment. Shout out the book and let me know. I am always looking for a new love affair.
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Wintr's Homecoming
Jaguar Nights

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Sunday, January 28, 2018

Dreams, Wishes, Future...

       I love to dream. I love exploring my self-conscious and gaining insight into the mysteries I wasn't even aware were pulling on my conscious. Dreams are my mind's way of processing the world around me and even when they don't make sense, I embrace them...
        My dreams can be the beginning of a story I had no idea needed writing or could be just the thing I needed to get that scene just right. They spark that part of me that believes magic is real, aliens exist, and an open mind is the only way in which to live.
         Sometimes my only faith can be found in God and in dreams...
Take for instance Saturday (January 27, 2018, can you believe we are in 2018?) I was in bed completely exhausted. I'd been cooking for the week ahead, researching for my latest project, and writing all day... Not usually the combination for dream territory, but I gave in and shut down everything, and gave into the feeling. I fell alseep thinking about "Jenna".
She was the wallflower used to living her life in the shadows. She was used to life passing her by. Used to not trying, because it was easier than failing.
        She was the child of two people who never would have had her if they had not taken the risk to be together. Her parents had been Adventurers and she was caution incarnate. She was ready for more. Ready to jump off the cliff and find out whether she could fly. She was a story ready to be written and I wanted to be the person to write her.
        I wanted to be the person who got to know her and to be there when she found her purpose in the world. In my dreams, she's an outline. The promise of a story sure to get my synapsis firing,
        It was the same when I wrote Dessani Queen, Wintr's Homecoming, Witch's Reflection, or She Gets What She Wants. I just knew she was something worth exploring.
Dreams, stories, and books can be heartbreaking. They can be unfulfilled wishes. They can be the future yet to come. But boy-oh-boy can they be fun to read.
        "Jenna" is and was a story I knew I would create. She is the kinder Jinx. The more timid Makayla. At the beginning of her growing awareness feminity and her own strength as a woman, she is learning just how exciting life could be when making the "right" choice wasn't always the way to get to her objective. She was a heroine and I couldn't wait to see how her story shaped out.
        How crazy is it, that I can dream something and feel so certain that it was meant to be shared? That by placing pen to paper I am sharing a part of myself to the outside world. Quite literally, because if you have read about my writing style before you knew I write on pen and paper as well as typing. I like the tactile sensation of working through writer's block by putting orders down with ink and seeing how I still feel about that scene when I am actually typing up.
        As a child, writing was my release. It was how I dealt with my feeling and how I organized my thoughts. Now it is as paramount as breathing. It is how I create content girls and women like me wished they had when it seemed like the world was crashing in and they wanted to read about someone who knew about their experiences... Who shared features with them and knew that coconut oil was life. I write and for the most part, it is for me. It feeds that creative part of me, but it is also for my sisters, friends, aunts, and for the women who read the books traditionally offered by mainstream media and feel unfulfilled because they aren't pale skinned. They aren't natural blondes with beautiful blue eyes.
        Their hair is kinky. Their eyes are, for the most part, varying shades of brown. Their universe doesn't necessarily start or end with the ghetto and gansta life. They want to believe in the supernatural for a few hours during the day and to read about a heroine that looks like them finding love with a hero. They want that ever elusive happily ever after.
        You know the one... With the guy on horseback, preferably with no shirt, a pearly white smile, and bulging arm muscles. 
        I want the people who read my books to dream. About their wishes. About their future... I want them to read those books and know their futures are unbelievably bright. Happily ever after isn't just for our paler friends. It is for us. Our Princes aren't just disowned royals without a dime to their name and aspirations of being a musician.


Contact Info:

Website:

Facebook:
Durand Publishing
Wintr's Homecoming
Jaguar Nights

Instagram:
Jensawanderingthoughts


Sunday, January 14, 2018

New year, New Lies We Tell Ourselves...


    I don't make new years resolutions. Usually because that would require thinking about my life beyond the next week and that most often leads to a spiral. I find it is best for my mental stability to only take things a week at a time. This year has just begun and I have already had a few verbal arguments (I'm trying guys), done some charitable giving (Supporting a college aged sister counts right?), and wished I lived on a remote island only accessible by amazon planes so I can use my "prime" shipping.
    My life, like most others, is full of ups and downs. Twist and turns... Loops and nosedives. Last year was another year of growing I needed and offered a lot of hurdles. But I am still standing. My legs are still moving and occasionally I feel like running.
    This year I want give myself a chance to make some real changes. This year I want to make a few resolutions. Don't get too excited, this may turn into a pack of lies (hence the title).
    This year I want to do for the year of 2018:
        1. Kiss a man without knowing his first name (Overcoming some very serious germaphobia)
        2. Write at least four books (While maintain some semblance of a life and working full time)
        3. Go somewhere with a lot of sand and sun (Can't waste a winter of getting beach body ready right? Ha, yeah right.)
      4. Go on a date with a man I did not immediately regret getting dressed up for (Dude, why are you not even worth the effort I put into blending into my              concealer?)
        5. Stand up in a room full of people and shine. (Can't just save the smartassery for my house and close friends)
        6. Walk away from unnecessary drama, even when I know I am right, because it is not worth the years subtracted from my life (It is just sooo hard!!!)
    Right! So there it is. My list of resolutions/possible lies. It is, a few weeks late I know, but at least it is here and in the right month.
    I know it has been a while since I have posted. Life got crazy... Books needed writing... Bills needed to be paid. Haha. But I want to reassure you all of those things will happen again this year and I will manage to get a post up at least one a month. Writing as good a balm as any for a antisocial introvert like me. I get to share my thoughts without having to have a prolonged conversation where I am constantly reviewing what I said to make sure I don't offend delicate sensibilities (have I mentioned I can be a bit of a smartass?).
    I want this space to be a safe place, a reprieve from the crazy that is the outside world. I want those who read my work to laugh, cry, and walk away from the scenes that pushed all of their buttons until they have found their happy median again.
    This year will be the year of faith and adventure. Do you want to be a part of it?

Contact Info:

Website:
www.DurandPublishing.net

Facebook:
Durand Publishing
Wintr's Homecoming
Jaguar Nights

Instagram:
Jensawanderingthoughts


Friday, March 31, 2017

Therapy

The wishes I have are simple.
The hopes I have are not new.
The things I have seen are not unheard of.
The faith I have has been betrayed.
My trust has not gone untested.
My heart has been broken.
But my eyes do see things.
My ears do hear.
My ways may be different.
My insight difficult to hear.
But I do know one thing.
It must be heard.

Friday, March 3, 2017

Loss ( Except From "Things We Left Unsaid")


Sometimes it felt as if there was no more air left in this world. As if she could not breathe because all of it had been sucked out of the room and there was nothing left for her. It took everything inside of her, not to shatter into a million pieces. To hide her pain from everyone.
Taylor gathered her legs to her chest and gasped for precious breath. No one truly understood the way she felt. No one knew what if felt like to lose something she’d been sure was safe inside of her. Someone so precious.
The pale buttercream walls, zoo themed accents, and empty wood carved crib. Her daughter’s nursery. The one she insisted they paint together and stocked full of everything a baby could need. How many times had she come in here just to make sure nothing was out of place? She wanted everything to be perfect for the day she got to bring their baby home.
Ian tried not to look in the direction of this room. Swallowing hard, she laid her head on her jean covered knees. He wanted to pack everything up. Put the loss behind them and move on. But she couldn’t do it just yet. There was an ache that just would not fade. A sorrow she just could not release.
Touching the dark green long sleeved onesie in her hand, she tried to imagine what Reese would have looked like in something so small. Imagine what her daughter would have looked like if she lived. If Taylor had done a better job of keeping her safe.
Tears coursed across her nose as she heard a shuffle behind her. Ian must have come home early. She planned to leave the room before he came back. He didn’t like her coming in here. Didn’t like seeing her like this. His grief was more reserved.
She’d only seen him cry twice. That night in the hospital and the day they buried her. She could feel the weight of his gaze before he turned and walked away. They weren’t in sync any more. She could feel it and didn’t know how to change it.
Or if she had the energy to do more than she was already doing. He was supposed to be the one she could lean on. Instead he made her feel like her grief was taking to long. As if this was a wound that should have scabbed over already.
She was trying.
She made sure he woke up with her beside him. Smiled as she cooked him breakfast and sent him off to work. Laughed even when all she wanted to do was lay down on the floor of this nursery. This wasn’t healthy and she knew it. But it was what she needed and trying to pretend that it wasn’t… Took a lot out of her.
Sniffling she wiped her face and sat up. Taylor wasn’t the same woman he’d married. The passion and strength that had guided her most of her life was nowhere in sight. She felt crumpled and fixing it was hard when all she could see is what they’d lost.
Jen A. Durand

Monday, February 27, 2017

Remembering The Past (Excerpt From "Cold Sun")




“Tell me a story,” Selah said as she laid her head in Talia’s lap.
They were in the gardens. Beneath the sunlight and surrounded by flowers. Bryon was off somewhere on Business and Caden was off playing the messenger.
Talia looked into her sister’s eyes with an easy smile, “What kind of story?”
“Comedy?” Talia played with one of Selah’s curls as she continued, “Drama?”
Selah rolled. “Are you done?”
“Do you want me to search my mind for a fairy tale?”
Selah shook her head. “Talk to me about them.”
Their parents. She wanted a story about them. Selah usually avoided talking about them. Talia usually trotted them out when she was trying to teach Selah a lesson her parents taught her.
“Something real,” Selah finished as she spun a grape between her fingers.
Something real? Translation, something not weighed down by some allegorical less? Searching her mind she nodded and stretched her legs out jostling Selah.
Selah shouldered the thigh closer to her and readjusted herself so she remained in Talia’s lap. This was reminiscent of so many of the picnics Talia used to have for her when Selah was younger.
They would cuddle together reading, braiding each other’s hair. Talking about school. Or Talia’s latest commission. Their picnics times turned into movie nights, then Selah became a teenager and her friends took center stage in her life. Talia had missed this.
 “Okay. How about the first time I cast a spell?”
Her coven felt that children were better about not abusing their powers when they learned at an older age. Training began in earnest around nine or ten. Before then, the youngest of the coven had their powers bound. An image rose to mind and Talia laughed.
“I was ten.” Frowning she took a beat, “maybe Eleven…”
“You were one or two. Mom was trying to teach me how to tap into my core. She wanted me to levitate an apple. But it was so boring.”
“I know right,” Selah teased impishly.
Talia ignored her sister’s response. The basics were always boring but they were necessary. Learning wasn’t always fun, but how could you expect to do anything complicated without the right foundation?
“Patrice told me all I had to do was think of air.”
“She said my instinctive ability would do the rest. What Patrice did not tell me that air and wind were two different things,” Talia smiled as the scene played out in her head. She did not think she had ever seen her mother quite so surprised.
Selah chuckled in anticipation of how this story would end. Her eyes trained on her sister’s face. Talia did not talk about her parents often. Thinking about them felt like a stab to the heart most days. She had not been the best daughter to them.
“I sent the apple flying across the room and hit dad right in the face. His nose ballooned and started bleeding in seconds.”
Their father hadn’t even been angry. In fact Talia thought he sounded a little proud as he tried to explain where she went wrong. Their mother just laughed as she looked down at Talia with exasperation. A common look on her face, even then.
Selah smiled. “You never told me that story.”
“It does not show me in the best light.”
“It is better.”
“Mom used to say you were her second chance.”
Talia sighed. Before her mother died, their relationship had been strained. She always expected more from Talia. Better from her. She always said Talia had the power to become the greatest witch of this century.
Those days Talia had been struggling to find herself and figure out what she wanted. Her regressions had been horrifying experiences and she was not sure she wanted anything to do with Coven business. Talia wanted to travel and paint, not lead a group of witches.
“All the mistakes she regretted with me, she was going to avoid with you.”
Selah frowned. “When?”
“Right before she died.”
They had just fought because Talia felt as her parents had stopped listening to her. Every chance they got they seemed to force their plans for her, irrespective of what she wanted for herself. She was just expected to be the good little witchling and follow the flower strewn path they set for her.
“I don’t think she meant it in a bad way. But it bothers me sometimes, when I look at you.”
“In what way?”
“Mom and Dad did not get me all the time. They thought I rebelled because that is what teenagers did. When really I think I just wanted to get as much living done as possible.”
Selah looked up at Talia as if she were in deep in thought. The fact was Talia could feel herself becoming more like her parents. The way they invaded every part of her life and pushed their views off on her. Before Selah’s abduction she had thought it was the only way to honor them. Now she was trying a different tactic.
“I could not talk to them.”
Talia pulled a lock of Selah’s hair. “We talk. Sometimes I forget that I am the adult and I just want to be your sister. Then I remember that I am not just your sister. And I feel like I am the world’s worst parent.”
Talia shrugged. “So I over compensate.”
“You definitely do sometimes.”
Talia poked her in the belly gently. “And you run away.”
Selah sat up and crossed her legs. “I am supposed to run away. It is what kids do, Talia. I do it because I know I will always have a home to come back to.”
Talia smiled wryly. “Somehow that is not comforting.”
Selah picked up another grape and threw it at her. “You need to have a baby. Something small and helpless to focus on.”
Talia’s eyes widened in shock as she exclaimed. “That is not happening.”
“Imagine. A boy with sweet deep dimples and wide set eyes.”

Talia placed a hand on her cheek. “I have enough on my hands with you and the secrets I know you are keeping.”




Jen A. Durand